How to Do a Cord Cutting Ritual and Take Your Energy Back
A cord cutting ritual helps you release a bond that keeps pulling you back, to an ex, an old friend or a hard chapter. The simplest version: tie a string between two candles, one for you and one for what you are releasing. Light them and let the flame burn the string through while you say goodbye with love. You can also do it in your mind.
Key takeaways
A cord is the old pull you still feel toward a person or a part of your past.
Cutting it is not about hurting anyone. It is about taking your energy back.
Burn a string between two candles, or cut the cord in your mind.
Release with love, then fill the space with something good.
What is cord cutting?
Cord cutting comes from the belief that we form energy cords with the people and places we have been close to. Some cords feed you, like the bond with a dear friend. Others drain you: the ex you still check on, the person whose words still sting, the job you left but still think about at night.
A cord cutting ritual ends the draining pull. It does not erase the memory or the love you had, and it does not send anything bad to anyone. It simply brings your energy back home to you, so you can spend it on the life you are calling in.
When to do a cord cutting ritual
Do it when you notice the same person or past taking up your thoughts again and again. After a breakup. After a friendship ends. When you leave a job, a city or a home. Before you start calling in a new love, so there is room for it. Many people choose the waning moon, the time between full moon and new moon, because it is a time for letting go.
How to do a cord cutting ritual with candles
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Gather two candles and a string
Use two small candles, a piece of natural string and a fireproof plate. White works for both, or white for you and black for what you release.
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Name each candle
Scratch your name into one candle and the person or situation into the other, or set a small paper with each name under them.
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Tie them together
Tie the string around both candles, about a hand's width apart, so it runs between them like a cord.
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Light them and say your words
Light both candles and say your release out loud. Stay with them while the flame burns the string through.
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Close the ritual
When the string breaks, say thank you, snuff the candles and throw away what is left. Open a window.
12 affirmations for after your cord cutting
Love & Relationships
“I release you with love.”
“My heart is open to new love.”
“I am whole on my own.”
Money & Abundance
“My energy is mine to give.”
“I spend my time on what fills me.”
“Good things have room to come in.”
Career & Purpose
“I am free to choose my next step.”
“My past taught me, and it does not hold me.”
“I move forward with ease.”
Health & Wellness
“I feel light and clear.”
“I am calm and safe in my body.”
“Peace comes back to me.”
Cord cutting without candles: a short meditation
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Picture the person or situation in front of you, and see a cord of light between you, wherever you feel it in your body. Notice it without judging it.
Now picture a pair of golden scissors, or a sword of light, and cut the cord in one clean move. Watch your end of the cord return to you and dissolve into light. Say, "I release you with love, and I take my energy back." Then picture warm golden light filling the place where the cord was.
What to say during cord cutting
Keep your words kind and simple. For example: "I thank you for what you taught me. I release you with love. I take back my energy, and I give you back yours. I am free, and so are you." Say it slowly, out loud or in your head, while the string burns or while you picture the cut.
After the cord is cut
You may feel light right away, or you may feel a wave of sadness. Both are normal. Be gentle with yourself for a few days, drink water, rest, and don't reach out to the person to test it. Fill the empty space on purpose: lines from these affirmations for letting go, or lines for after a breakup if that is what you are healing from. If a relationship ever makes you feel unsafe, talk to someone you trust.
Can you cut cords with family?
Yes. You are not cutting the love, only the part of the bond that drains you: the guilt, the old roles, the need for approval. Many people cut cords with a parent and feel closer to them afterward, because they can show up as themselves. Do the same ritual, with extra kindness in your words.
Tips for your cord cutting ritual
Do it from love, not anger
If you are still furious, write it out first. The ritual works best when you can wish them well, even a little.
One cord at a time
Cut one bond per ritual. It keeps your focus clear and lets you feel the change.
Choose your candle colors
White is enough. If you want to go further, here is what each candle color means.
Repeat if the pull comes back
Some cords are thick. If the pull returns after a few weeks, do the ritual again. Each time it gets lighter. If it keeps coming back, journaling with shadow work prompts can show you why.
Stay safe with fire
Use a fireproof plate, keep water close and never leave the candles alone.
Cord cutting: frequently asked questions
It is a ritual to release an energy bond that keeps pulling you toward a person or a part of your past. You cut a symbolic cord, often a string burned between two candles, and take your energy back. It is done with love, not to harm anyone.
